{"id":94,"date":"2026-04-13T12:01:00","date_gmt":"2026-04-13T12:01:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/?p=94"},"modified":"2026-02-16T14:17:49","modified_gmt":"2026-02-16T14:17:49","slug":"what-if-i-make-the-wrong-decision-and-regret-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/what-if-i-make-the-wrong-decision-and-regret-it\/","title":{"rendered":"What If I Make the Wrong Decision and Regret It?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>If you make the wrong decision and regret it, you adapt, learn, and move forward. A single decision does not define your identity, your future, or your potential. Regret is information\u2014not a life sentence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s the direct answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The fear of regret keeps more people stuck than actual failure ever does. We don\u2019t just fear being wrong\u2014we fear living with the emotional weight of knowing we chose incorrectly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But here\u2019s what I\u2019ve learned in leadership, business, and life: the cost of indecision often exceeds the cost of a wrong decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s unpack why.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">You\u2019re Not Afraid of the Decision \u2014 You\u2019re Afraid of the Story<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When you ask, <em>\u201cWhat if I make the wrong decision and regret it?\u201d<\/em> you\u2019re usually not afraid of the logistics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re afraid of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Feeling foolish<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Losing credibility<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Wasting time or money<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Proving an internal doubt true<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Having to explain yourself<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Regret feels permanent in your imagination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But most regret isn\u2019t about the decision itself. It\u2019s about the story we attach to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIf this fails, it means I\u2019m not capable.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIf this doesn\u2019t work, it proves I misjudged.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIf I regret this, it means I can\u2019t trust myself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s identity fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And identity fear fuels hesitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Real Problem Isn\u2019t Regret \u2014 It\u2019s Control<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re not actually trying to avoid regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re trying to control the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You want certainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You want to eliminate risk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You want to choose the path that guarantees satisfaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But leadership doesn\u2019t offer guarantees.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Every meaningful decision carries uncertainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Waiting for a zero-regret option is a strategy that guarantees stagnation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The better question isn\u2019t:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHow do I avoid regret?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cHow do I respond if regret shows up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That shift changes everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">How Fear Magnifies Regret<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Fear exaggerates consequences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s how the cycle works:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>You face a decision.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Uncertainty triggers anxiety.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Your brain imagines worst-case outcomes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Regret becomes the focus.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>You delay to reduce discomfort.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>And when you delay, you feel temporary relief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That relief reinforces hesitation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But indecision comes with its own form of regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lost opportunities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lost momentum.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lost growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fear convinces you that choosing wrong is catastrophic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But staying stuck quietly erodes confidence over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Identity Determines How You Handle Regret<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In <em>Built on B.O.L.D.<\/em>, I teach that identity drives action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If your identity says:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cI must always get it right.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cMistakes define me.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cFailure equals weakness.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cRegret proves incompetence.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Then regret feels unbearable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if your identity shifts to:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u201cI adapt.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI learn quickly.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI take ownership.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cNo decision defines me.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Then regret becomes feedback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not identity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Regret is not proof that you\u2019re incapable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s proof that you acted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And action builds resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Ownership Neutralizes Regret<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The antidote to regret isn\u2019t perfection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s ownership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ownership sounds like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cIf this doesn\u2019t work, I\u2019ll adjust.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI will learn from it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ll take responsibility for the outcome.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you own your decision, you remove the emotional drama from the outcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re no longer trying to protect your ego.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You\u2019re committed to growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And growth requires imperfect moves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">There Is No Risk-Free Path<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s the truth:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not deciding carries regret too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Regret of:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Staying too long.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Playing small.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Avoiding the leap.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Not speaking up.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Waiting for permission.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>The difference is that inaction regret builds slowly and quietly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it compounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Confidence doesn\u2019t grow through avoiding regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It grows through navigating it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A Practical Framework for Fear of Regret<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong decision, use this process:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">1. Define the Real Consequences<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>What is realistically the worst-case outcome?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Can you recover?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most of the time, the answer is yes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">2. Separate Identity from Outcome<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Say it clearly:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cThis decision does not define my worth.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Detach your self-value from the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">3. Ask the Ownership Question<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cCan I own whatever happens next?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ownership is stronger than fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">4. Decide Within a Time Frame<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Endless analysis fuels anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Leadership requires commitment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Set a deadline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Regret Can Be a Teacher<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Regret is uncomfortable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But it can be instructive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some of the most valuable growth in my life didn\u2019t come from perfect decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It came from decisions that didn\u2019t go as planned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Regret clarified my values.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Strengthened my discipline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Refined my judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Built resilience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But that only happens if you face it with ownership instead of shame.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Confidence Is Built After Imperfect Decisions<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Most people wait to feel confident before they decide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But confidence grows after you decide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After you act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After you adapt.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After you survive discomfort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Self-trust is not built through flawless execution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s built through consistent ownership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you know you can handle outcomes\u2014good or bad\u2014you fear regret less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because you trust yourself more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">The Takeaway<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you make the wrong decision and regret it, you are still capable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You are still growing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You are still in control of your response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The goal isn\u2019t to eliminate regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The goal is to become someone who can handle it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shift from fear to identity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shift from hesitation to ownership.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shift from ownership to decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shift from decision to action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t need certainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You need alignment and responsibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Choose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Own it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Move forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Live. Fully. Boldly. Now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you make the wrong decision and regret it, you adapt, learn, and move forward. A single decision does not define your identity, your future, or your potential. Regret is information\u2014not a life sentence. That\u2019s the direct answer. The fear of regret keeps more people stuck than actual failure ever does. We don\u2019t just fear [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[12,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-94","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-confidence-and-courage","category-decision-making"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=94"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":95,"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94\/revisions\/95"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=94"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=94"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottlehmann.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=94"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}